This is a post about reality. The last 24 hours of my life.
It all started when I shared the recent NYtimes article, "The Science Behind Your Child's Tantrums," on my Facebook page. https://nyti.ms/3j5tFUW
I should have known better. The universe has a way of teaching me, though.....Read on....
The article is a thorough dive into what happens to our bodies when our sympathetic nervous system feels threatened. Guess what ?!?!?! Kids tantrum! Adults tantrum! It happens. Every human deals with their negative emotions in different ways. Kids are learning how to figure out their way to manage negative emotions.
And then my kid had one of his massive tantrums at school. The first one by him, experienced by the loving, exceptional staff at his school. I knew it was coming. I'm sure there was screaming, hhrumphing, chair tipping, hands on hips, leg stomping, etc. I tried to prep the school director by sharing the tools that we use (when I registered him for school). She used the tools and he coped with his BIG feelings about not getting to stand next to his best friend in line to wash hands, and then he moved on to lunch time.
I de-briefed with the teacher and my little guy. And we moved on. It happens. And will probably happen again. We all learned that it felt super important to him to stand next to his best bud (we get it!!! She's pretty awesome!) and that he needs to tell his teacher what he wants without escalating into "meltdown mode."
Will it happen again? YES. Did I feel like I was negotiating with a 5 year old terrorist trying to get him to go to school this morning? YES. Did we practice our power poses, share feelings with his teacher, and transition from the car to the classroom with laughter and hugs? YES.
Bottom line #1: Tantrums are hard. For the kid, for the parent, for the teachers, for everyone who has to watch the scene unfold. Thank you to the crew who helps my kid manage his tantrums. You are awesome!!!
Bottom line #2. Tantrums are a way for kids to express themselves and their feelings. Could they do it better? YES. But it's also a learning process. I will give my little guy the grace to tantrum and de-brief after he has calmed down to learn how to do it better next time.
Sending love to parents, children and teachers who deal with tantrums.....
What does a tantrum look like in your life?